Ocyras Facts #2

Ocyras Facts #2 is very different from Ocyras Facts #1. OF2 is just a bunch of Chuck Norris facts adjusted to suit Ocyras, but OF1 is real interesting facts about Ocyras (not jokes). Anyway, here's the facts.

• Ocyras sleeps with a nightlight. Not because he's afraid of the dark, but because the dark's afraid of him.
• When Ocyras jumps in the water, he doesn't get wet. The water gets Ocyras.
• Ocyras doesn't need seatbelts. Seatbelts need Ocyras.
• Ocyras doesn't go to the store. The store goes to Ocyras.
• Ocyras doesn't believe in God. God believes in Ocyras.
• When Ocyras goes to a restaurant, he doesn't order food. The food orders him.
• Ocyras doesn't go skydiving. He goes jumping.
• Ocyras can pole vault without the pole.
• Newborn babies cry because they know they have just entered a world with Ocyras in it.
• Ocyras likes to knit sweaters. And by "knit", I mean kick. And by "sweaters", I mean babies.
• Ocyras' tears cure cancer. It's too bad he never cried.
• Ocyras' calendar goes straight from March 31 to April 2. Nobody fools Ocyras.
• Ocyras counted to infinity - twice.
• Ocyras can speak braille.
• Ocyras owns the greatest Poker Face of all-time. It helped him win the 1983 World Series of Poker despite him holding just a Joker, a Get out of Jail Free Monopoly card, a 2 of clubs, 7 of spades and a green #4 card from the game Uno.
• Ocyras can do a wheelie on a unicycle
• Ocyras put the laughter in manslaughter
• When the boogeyman goes to sleep every night, he checks his closet for Ocyras.
• Guns don't kill people. Ocyras kills people.
• Ocyras was originally cast for the main character in 24, but they figured out that he could kill all the terrorists and save the day in 12 minutes and 47 seconds.
• If Ocyras touches fire, he doesn't get burned. The fire gets Ocyrased.
• Ocyras doesn't listen to music. Music listens to him.
• Ocyras walked during the running of the bulls.
• When Ocyras does a push-up, he doesn't push himself up up. He pushes the world down.
• Ocyras once shot down an airplane by pointing his finger and saying, "Bang".
• Ocyras has filed a lawsuit against NBC because Law & Order are trademarks of his right and left leg.