School Quotes
This page contains a bunch of quotes from funny conversations that happened at school. Pretty basic, but some of them are pretty funny!
Student: So, the people who wrote the Bible, are they like, millionaires now?
Teacher: Uhh, They're dead.
Teacher: You name it, they hate it.
Student: Dang, I'm not eating erasers anymore!
Teacher: Hey, where are my glasses?
Student: I dunno.
Teacher: GIVE THEM BACK OR I'LL SEND YOU TO THE OFFICE!
Student: What the ****! I didn't take your glasses!
Teacher: Jesus went to the tax collectors, prostitutes, and lepers.
Student: What do prostitutes have to do with this?
Teacher: That's who Jesus went to.
Student: (raises hand) I'm dumb!
Teacher: (class is playing baseball) I'll be calling the fouls from now on.
Student: Foul!
Teacher: There will be no more distractions from now on!
Student: Hey, look outside! A little girl!
Teacher: (yelling rudely) HAVE I EVER BEEN RUDE TO YOU?
Teacher: Okay now, draw the triangle.
Student: I'm too stupid!
Teacher: Well, that's nice, but draw the triangle.
Student: (trying to answer question) I don't really know what I'm saying, but... umm... uhh... well...
Teacher: I don't know what you're saying either. Can someone else answer this please?
Student: You can't finish a Big Mac? I own those things!
Teacher: You should be grateful to live in Canada. People don't chuck shells in your back yard, you don't have car bombs going off in the street...
Student: (Looks out window at street)
Teacher: We're doing yoga tomorrow, so girls, makes sure not to wear baggy shorts or skirts.
Girls: Okay.
Teacher: Boys, don't wear skirts either.
Teacher: Okay boys, stop playing with your balls.
Teacher: The page is 115. Don't ask me the page, I've already said it once!
Student: What's the page?
Student: Hey guys! What's mustard made out of?
Teacher: ...Mustard seed.
Student: Is there cheese in it?
Teacher: My wife's a programmer for Dell.
Student: Skillz!
Teacher: I read somewhere that we will not use paper in the future. That means we would all have to have our own computer. Ones that actually work.
Student: Computers that work? That's crazy!
Teacher: Okay, everybody open your textbooks to page six.
Student: Hahahahaha! Somebody drew a goatee on that girl!
Teacher: Does anybody know where Stonehenge is?
Student: Umm... at Cedar Point? [Cedar Point is an amusement park]
Student: I got an A!
Teacher: Are you sure?
Student: Yes, I did!
Teacher: Are you sure it's yours?
Student: Yes, I did!
Teacher: Did you cheat?
Student: Yes, I did!
Student: Hey, look at that mop - it's moving! Wait... nevermind, that's just the teacher's head.
Student: I wish I could pee all during gym...
Teacher: The trick with writing complaint letters is that you have to politely tell them they're stupid.
Teacher: Also, uh.. um.. I don't even know what I'm talking about..
Teacher: Recently, there has been a lot of theft going on in this classroom. It makes me wonder when people have 10 cartons of milk. Did you steal a milk ticket? (Milk tickets are exchanged for a carton of milk)
Student: No! I just took it out of his desk!
Teacher: Stop smiling! I don't think it's funny, so why are you laughing?
Teacher: (student is yawning) Don't stretch. Stretch during recess.
Student: I can't! I have detention.
Student: Can I take my pizza to the bathroom?
Teacher: Stop being annoying. You already have detention for the rest of your life, anyway.
Teacher: Do you know the answer?
Student: Yes, it's-
Teacher: Stop talking! You have a detention!
Student: (class is talking about the world series) Calm down guys! It's just soccer!
Student 1: I hate her.
Student 2: Yeah, me too.
Student 3: Everyone hates her.
Student 4: Yeah. Her hair is so greasy.
Student: You can't hurt me, because I'm death. You can't hurt death, because death can kill you.
Student: We have finally acheived epic lulz.
Student: What? When did we acheive an epic lul?
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